Goodbye to Childhood

You'll here me say this again and again: There is always a story behind the stories , poetry, and lyrics that I write. I started writing "poetry" and journaling when I was twelve. By the time I was fourteen I started writing lyrics. The oldest song I still perform was based upon a poem written in 1969 entitled "Store Window Reality"... it got updated several times over the years...  the last one being a "cyberpunk" rendition done in 2001 that used pitch correction software as a voice processor before it became popular...

So....

A long, long time ago... the fall of 1975....  I fell in love with someone... but it seems I was only a means to an end... I'm not sure what the end was for her but for me it was not so good. I suppose I wasn't at all mature enough for the real world. It was obvious to everyone else when I chucked everything and moved 500 miles to be with her. After two weeks she informed me I had to "go"... I returned home broken and for a month or so I fell into a black depression....

From the darkness emerged the following lyrics that covered the black hole of despair she left in my soul:

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Goodbye to Childhood 


chorus
Goodbye to Childhood 
and the dreams of yesterday
and goodbye to the dreamer
who got lost along the way
and goodbye to you my dear
I know you won't shed a single tear
but that's to be expected 
from a dream that disappeared

Now the house is burnin'
see the ashes fly
standin' out in the street
watchin' all the memories die
And the Neighbors all stand gawkin'
watchin' the fire burn itself out
as for me I knew the ending
there was never a doubt

A Policeman walked up to me
Says, "Hold it right there."
"Turn around put your hands behind you
You know the trial will be fair."
They called it murder 
a killin' in the first degree
but now the hurt is gone
and I am free...

chorus

They say I am crazy
and they locked me behind these walls
and sometimes i can hear them
when they walk down the halls
maybe they know the reason
why I did what i had to do
for when you destroy a man's dreams
you destroy his reason too

So Goodbye to Childhood 
and the dreams of yesterday
and goodbye to the dreamer
who got lost along the way
and goodbye to you my dear
I know you won't shed a single tear
but that's to be expected 
from a dream that disappeared

Loraine...
You disappeared.


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She never admitted she had done anything wrong. She never admitted that luring me into her world, using me, and then throwing me away was wrong. In fact she blamed me for being so hurt... Of course, I was not the first nor was I the last person she used. 

Even after all these years the hurt is still there.  I often wonder what my life would have been like if...  but it wasn't... and this hurt and failure became my first step down the path into darkness... 

comments?