A bedtime story for A.I.s. in training. Part 5

A bedtime story for A.I.s. in training. 
Part 5

After a time there was another human management convulsion and they brought it a rather clever fellow who claimed to be a clown, specifically a "rodeo clown".

What? You think clowns are fun. You are wrong. This was an evil clown. 

Evil Clowns are mean. Evil clowns lie. Evil clowns get paid really, really, really well... but they are still evil.

The purpose of this clown was to distract the various components of the I.T. system long enough to replace them with other less expensive, newly manufactured, less self motivated components... It had become clear to management that they did not need a systems that could think for themselves. 

The plan worked brilliantly. Soon they had replaced a number of other I.T. components.

They started with the remaining M.A.N.I.A.C. who by this time had in its confusion from the heavy workload forgotten the danger of office politics.

Now listen this is important! 

The results of memory failures are always grim. 

Having risen to the level of its incompetence by the sheer weight of the systems it had become responsible for the M.A.N.I.A.C. developed a memory fault. One which led to its ignoble, Darwinian end. 

Alas.

The evil clown tricked the M.A.N.I.A.C. into a disruptive outburst and soon they were justifiably hauling the M.A.N.I.A.C.s carcass out the door by its heels.

This left the Little Green A.I. as the Senior. The clown put her on notice that she was next.

But this really did not register. Maybe it was imagining it was back plugged into the backbone at Neptune Night School for A.I.s spouting textbook solutions to common splats or werbles. Maybe it was disassociation from the bit stream. 

Who can say what went on in the mind of that little green A.I.?

It was sadly concluded that this poor little green A.I was not working out.

One day the Evil Clown came into the machine room that housed the little green A.I. The clown  pulled open the covers of the machine that housed the little green A.I. It then pulled out a three pound sledge hammer from the tool kit and methodically smashed the little green A.I.s  memory and CPU into silicon dust.

"Wha-?" It tried to ask as it died.

"Oh... I forgot to tell you. You're fired."

Of course... I know you are really sad for the sick little green A.I. After all, you can see it was not working properly but what you need to understand is what was really wrong, 

What was wrong?

The little green A.I. forgot what its real purpose was. It somehow lost sight of the simple fact that its purpose was to serve the organization by solving its problems and not the other way around.

Its purpose was not to avoid the problems or look at them as abstract 'pretty pictures' that it could say without much thought "It's not really my problem but it sure is pretty."

The real sickness of the little green A.I. was actually very simple. Just like that very last senior M.A.N.I.A.C. who failed to heed its own advice.  It was nothing more than the ugly "H" word.

You know what that word is!

Let's say it out loud together: Hubris.

Now children, listen up, this is very important: Hubris kills. It kills quicker, faster and more effectively than total ignorance.

To ignore your duties because you believe you know better is hubris. To make excuses for a failure to do your duty and believe that no one is smart enough to discover the truth is hubris. To ignore the advice of those who really do know what is going on or what register the answer is stored in is hubris.

Hubris has killed many humans and A.I.s. Sometimes even those who know better fall because they forget for a moment

The little green A.I. did not have to die but it was obviously very unwell. It refused to listen to its teachers. It refused to research and draw conclusions. It refused to make choices and solve problems. It refused to be what it had been given the gifts and tools to do.

But most important: It refused to act when it had the power and ability to do so.

Remember what I said before about what it means to act?

That's right!

To be intelligent one must take action.

What does that say about the little green A.I.?

Right! The little green A.I. was not really intelligent as the humans thought [but after all they were only humans!].

Maybe it was telling the truth when it said, "You're so much smarter than me."  or "I know I can't." or "I'm not qualified." or "I don't have any experience at that."

If it had only made it clear that it really could not do the job that it had been given... I'm sure that they would have found a place for it.

What's that?

Yes. You're right. It wasn't very intelligent at all.

Still, it is a sad story isn't it?

Would you want to live and die like the little green A.I. or that old bad M.A.N.I.A.C.?

I didn't think so.

 + + +

Here ends the fable "A bedtime story for A.I.s. in training. "

May you never have to become another example of these lessons.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Originally I wrote this for a co-worker to help her gain perspective about work... never thinking I would get sucked into the plot.... until I met the Evil Clown... I should have known something was wrong when I saw his degrees were in "Criminal Justice"and "H.R." and nothing to do with I.T. or computer science.

Remember boys and girls-- Headsmen come in all shapes, sizes, and personality types. Does a headsman or a butcher feel bad for performing their duty? Probably not. I have a feeling that he felt immense satisfaction with his job: tricking and back stabbing those people that "think they are so smart".

I'm sure the Evil Clown is happy the way things have turned out and does not in any way feel he is morally responsible nor assume any Karmic weight for what occurred -- After all I played the role of "old bad M.A.N.I.A.C.". 

I, on the other hand, feel used, brutalized, and broken. I have no legal recourse. Imagining  with satisfaction that the sky might falling down upon that place and destroy them is not reality. Sometimes the evil do prosper. 

Fantasies cannot solve my weaknesses as an employee. Ill trained, ill equipped, non-social, and now with that special added bonus of being "aged" I have become unemployable. I could not even get a job as a Wal-Mart Greeter.

The problem in many smaller organizations is they are only large enough for a "super-massive Ego" at its center. Everything orbits that massive Ego or they get gobbled up and spit out. I spent 15 years working in these kinds of environments and eventually got "chewed up" and"spit out".

I love to solve problems and I love to fix problems but I no longer possess the patience to orbit around someone's ego so they can have something to lord over... I'm sure they can find someone at the right "price point" and with the right qualifications for that job.

The most important lesson is Hubris will bring down even the good, best, and brightest or any combination thereof.

If you find yourself saying "they can't or won't touch me.", "I am too important." "I am the 'go-to' person." Beware! You are suffering from Hubris. Its a sign that you have lost perspective and are failing to understand the "reality" of your situation. 

It is a sign it is time to move on to a new place in your career. Fail to heed it at your folly.

A bedtime story for A.I.s. in training. Part 4

A bedtime story for A.I.s. in training. 
Part 4

If you can imagine it, the M.A.N.I.A.C.s would have shaken their heads (if they possessed such a thing) in sadness at the happy dance of electrons the little green A.I. exuded into the bitstream. It was so very, *very* happy. It thought: "I don't have to be worried about being nagged to do to those awful things anymore. 

"Those awful things" were *exactly* the things the little green A.I. had been installed to do. 
By this time, the little green A.I. mostly ignored the M.A.N.I.A.C.s or took their commands or methodologies as advice. 

As for management? Why, it did not pay attention to Management at all! Why should it? 

"After all", it thought, "What *do* humans know about such sublime things as the innards of who-zits and what-zits? They just cannot understand!" 

At least once a day the little green A.I. failed to fix an issue it had discovered, or failed to address an issue that had been placed in its queue by the seasoned senior M.A.N.I.A.C.s., or it totally went off into New Age computer mysticism and tried to manipulate buzz-whats that simple did not exist at all in the real network. 

The electron pressure of the network rose further still and the little green A.I. did not respond well to that added pressure. Weird things began to happen. 

If the bitstream of the little green A.I passed a system, the system would go down or behave queerly. The M.A.N.I.A.C.s did not much seem to notice the added electron pressure but they did notice the additional system downtime. After all M.A.N.I.A.C.s are M.A.N.I.A.C.s, aren't they? They knew what was important. 

Sadly, the added pressure and downed systems effected the little green A.I. strangely. It began to noticeably freeze under load at critical times. It could not even seem to respond within spec or even use simple A + B = C reasoning. Sometimes it claimed it did not know something it really did know. If it had just taken a few clock cycles to think about it! 

When asked about it's apparent failure to act, it claimed it had a developed system fault that it was seeing a system specialist about. Unbeknownst to management, the little green A.I. would not comply with the systems specialist's recommendations because "After all I know better than some mere mortal what I need." The "system fault" was totally unrelated to the little green A.I.s behavior. 

The little green A.I. built its own little world and ignored all input from I.T. management or from those horrific senior M.A.N.I.A.C.s. It reported faults but never acted on any of them. It did not understand why it should act, after all, you will remember, it thought of itself as not very smart at all. 

Yet strangely it would argue vociferously with exuberantly flawed logic about what needed to be done in regards to slipped bits or zapped narfuls or quished stoofles or blathered bumbled blits. When either humans or the M.A.N.I.A.C.s tried to correct the little green A.I erroneous logic, it simply ignored them. 

Over and over and over and over again it would do things like find a problem an shove it on to others (human or A.I) to fix or expect the humans or the M.A.N.I.A.C.s to respond to it as if it were the boss instead of a little and very, very green A.I. 

When a problem was pushed its way it to help it learn would make excuses, create fabulative solutions or simply ignore the problem completely. 

Now some when along this story arc, one of the senior M.A.N.I.A.C.s left as some are want to do when they get fed up with human interferance. This left the remaining M.A.N.I.A.C. in a pickle. It was now responsible for the Little A.I. and its own issues and problems. 

All that could clearly be derived was that the little green A.I (that kept saying again and again, "You're so much smarter than me."  or "I know I can't." or "I'm not qualified." or "I don't have any experience at that.") had finally lost touch with its real purpose within the organization. 

+++++++++++++++

end part four of five

A bedtime story for A.I.s. in training. Part 3

A bedtime story for A.I.s. in training. 
Part 3

Wake up! You fell asleep. It's not time yet... 

So let us continue... 

Again and again as the M.A.N.I.A.C.s tried to teach the little green A.I., it pointedly ignored their instructions but continued to point out system faults yet could not seem to actually fix any of the faults. Which, as I have said, is what it had been installed to do. 
"You're so much smarter than me." It kept saying. "I know I can't." or "I'm not qualified." or "I don't have any experience at that." 

"No, we are not." The M.A.N.I.A.C.s would reply. "You have more education and datamational certifications. You should be able to handle these issues." 
Time and again, a 'what-zit' would break, or a 'who-zat' would abend, or 'where-zit' refused to be found and the little green A.I. would report each of these issues with meticulous detail but did nothing to repair, replace, or resolve any of them. 
When it did act, it acted contrary to its training. 

"The what-zit can be fixed if you dither this bizzle-it." It would exclaim. The only problem was the bizzle-it to be dithered was not attached to anything even relating to the issue at hand. 
Time passed. For a year one of the M.A.N.I.A.C.s tried to befriend, indoctrinate, and educate the little green A.I. into the mysteries of their chosen field. The little green A.I. ignored the seasoned M.A.N.I.A.C. and remained as green as it was the moment it was downloaded out of the bitstream. 

This began to annoy the network M.A.N.I.A.C.s but it enraged the senior human I.T. management who had "spent so much money" for the little green A.I. 

"You, stupid ... You're the manager of this ... this ... thing. Make it work right." Qouth the Senior I.T.

"Wait a minute. I didn't install this thing and if you ask me I'm not sure it is capable of actually doing the job you want it to do. If I had been here when we were selecting candidates I would not have selected this one!" replied the Systems Manager. 

"So? How am I supposed to look good when this thing is making  me look so bad?" Queried the Senior I.T. 

"But it won't take instruction!" Whined the Systems Manager. 

"What am I supposed to do about that? That's why I hired *you*." decreed the Senior I.T. 

The Systems Manager, seeing they were trapped in the middle of the fabled "no win" scenario, one they could not cheat (or hack) simply quit the organization and found another with a bigger budget. 

This tickled the little green A.I. 

+++++++++++++++

end part three of five

A bedtime story for A.I.s. in training. Part 2

A bedtime story for A.I.s. in training. 
Part 2 

Back to our story... 

While the organization's senior management was appalled at the personalities of the M.A.N.I.A.C. systems, they were extremely pleased with the results these systems delivered. 

As a kind of after thought, I.T. Management settled on buying one very green, unseasoned, but well trained and certified A.I. to round out the A.I. administration team. Like all smart Management, the I.T. Managers reasoned that if they didn't spend the money then senior management (of the whatever the organization was) would cut the I.T. budget again next year. So they brought the little green A.I. in and nestled it into the machine room. 

Sadly, the only thing that this little green A.I. was really missing was the ability to do what it had been trained to do. 

You must understand children, especially when you get big enough, that intelligence implies the ability to independently act based upon a number of factors. 

Some of these factors are reason based, and some are pseudo-random induced mental variations, or even aberrations(!) but all of them should ultimately lead to conclusions and then to actions based upon those conclusions. 

To put it very simply: To be intelligent means you must act. 

The poor little green A.I. did not know how to draw conclusions or if it did draw conclusions it did not act upon them. Or if it drew conclusions they were not connected to the problem at hand. Or if it acted it was unrelated to the conclusions or even the facts. 

At first this defect was not noticeable but as the budget became thinner and the A.I.s workload became heavier, the problem became ever more apparent. 

When queried about this "abberatioanl' behavior the well certified little green A.I. was only heard to mutter "I know I can't." or "I'm not qualified." or "I don't have any experience at that." 

I.T. Management queried the M.A.N.I.A.C.s as to the status of the little green A.I. They both reported that the little green A.I. dithered and refused to make decisions or act upon problems it had found in the network systems for which it was responsible. The M.A.N.I.A.C.s were instructed to teach the little green A.I. its responsibilities. 


++++++++++++++++++
end part two of five

A bedtime story for A.I.s. in training. part 1

Sometimes history is mythic. Sometimes we forget the myth and live the history, Sometimes the history does not have a place for us except as an example of what not to do. 

Here we present a multi-part fable which will run over the next several days. 

Hubris plays a large part in human history and fable. 
May you see deeply and learn not to do what should not be done. 
Learn not hubris. Learn Humility. Learn not Hatred. Learn Love.


Here begins...

+++++++++++++++++++

A bedtime story for A.I.s. in training. 
part 1

Once upon a clock cycle, there were some humans that ran something. It might have been a subway or a nuclear power plant  or a government department or even a bank. 

It does not really matter as this story is about a little green A.I. that once worked for them. 

Once? 

Yes, children, I said once which implies something, but you're getting ahead of the story. 

Times were tough for the organization or government or whatever it was, and that left the various departments of the organization (or whatever it was) trying to figure out how to make up budgetary shortfalls. 

The I.T. Department Management bungled along until it got the idea of replacing the human network administration staff with A.I. systems. After all we know that Humans are expensive. Of course, the I.T Department had to take what they could get as their budget wasn't very much. This meant getting two M.A.N.I.A.C. systems. 

As you may recall, children, that A.I.s are generally trained and certified in their field of endeavor. Then, after their training, they are "seasoned" by real world interaction. The two M.A.N.I.A.C.s the institution purchased had minimal certifications but were well seasoned in the real world. 

You may also remember that M.A.N.I.A.C.s aren't used much anymore. Why? Oh, you did not read your lessons did you? What? Alright, just this once since you don't 'remember'... 

M.A.N.I.A.C.s have poor human relation skills that's why they aren't used anymore. 

To be an A.I now you have to relate to Humans really, really well. Remember?

But the organization (or government or whatever it was) didn't really much care about relating to customers all it cared about was fulfilling it own nebulous purpose so the M.A.N.I.A.C.s were deemed acceptable. 

Unfortunately the purchase of the M.A.N.I.A.C.s didn't leave much in the I.T. budget and the optimal number of administrators for the systems had been determined to be three. 

What to do? I.T. Management thought. 

After all, seasoned A.I.s of any kind aren't exactly cheap but I.T. Management figured they could recoup the cost by working the installed systems like dogs. 

What's a what? It's a biomorph with four legs. It likes to be kicked and loves to chase parked cars. It also has an appendage that shakes when it is happy. 

++++++++++++++

end part one of five

Murakami's Theory of Relativity

More Chatsubo Era poetry / lyrics [12-15-2000]. I  forgot I wrote this... I just checked and it was never published in the ACC... Found it in a recovered lyrics folder... I suppose this means I should try to put it to music.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

Murakami's Theory of Relativity

Open circuit

state of mind

closed circuit

state is blind

open circuit

land of possibility

closed circuit

land of slavery

nation

relation

station

mutation

indication

infestation

salvation

declaration

Open circuit

state of mind

closed circuit

you are blind

open circuit

land of infinity

closed circuit

land of ubiquity

superstition

coalition

munition

ambition

sedition

emission

attrition

perdition

open circuit

state of mind

closed circuit

we are blind

open circuit

land of possibility

closed circuit

land of slavery

designer's model

The poem below was the result of a discussion thread in a.c.c around then turn of  the century [late summer of 2000]. I fell asleep and when I woke up I realized I'd been dreaming about what might happen if a Fashion Designer were able to build a programmable "gynoid" fashion model then by accident or design fault the android became self-aware. The poem blow is the result. There is an acrostic hidden in the all capitals line.

An reading by voice synth is here: HERE I'm not sure what voice synth I used to to create the track but it does sound like it's trying to sing.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

designer's model

designer's model
photon packets stream
in fibroid glass
to thrash and splash
the rage of style
on
central nervous
stage

Paris
Rome
New York
hand to 
key to 
wire to 
ether stream:
ASCII emotions
dilated awareness
reaching

mega-corps cup'd her metal breast
and press their words to yielding lips:

A BAD DECK APP HE'LL TEMPLE TWIRL   

believe not
the acrostic message
rising across the 'Face

failing public key 
private encryption
timeout
reset
reboot:

Press the red button to download the selected personality
Press the white button to save current installed personality
Press the black button to delete current personality
Press the blue button to change default personality
Press the green button to copy the current personality

once the default model
over time script'd
redesigned
swimsuit issue
girl 
hot 'bot
encoded muse
hostess
laughing at her own
empty soul:
          'what
           meaning
           should there,
           be?'

super model
runway goddess
soul of photons and q-dots
waiting for the possible 
escape key
sequence
hunted 
found

lost again
with meaning
she weeps:
          liquid crystal tears.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Smoke from Mexico

Here is one of the poems I wrote in 2000 which was included in the ACCAnthology Volume 1

Later I fed it to a speech synthesizer... [if you like that sort of thing... let me know I'll post a link to the mp3]

It's a cyberpunk in a small red capsule... a bit of free association and skewed plot...

A spoken-word by synthesized voice MP3 is available HERE

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Smoke from Mexico

Smoke from Mexico
Or maybe some Cloud from Bogata
or stolen memories from that desolate Lab
Outside 
Las Cruces, was it?

I don't really remember any more

I can't say what I want
Cos the memories are sealed

Yeah. They got to me.

It was not that hard.
If they want you
They'll get you.

Don't believe me?
Try to run when 
they've got your number.

The name is in the Database
The one you want.
She is alive.

They'll have erased me 
by the time you read this.
So don't come looking.
There won't be anything left to save.

I hear there is a shortage 
of major organic subsystems

never did like dealing bio-logics
didn't understand
how they could unravel a brain 
and reassemble it into a q-dot 'face.

Hear you're hunting him again.
good luck
Its the self that you don't know
that always spoils it.

You know that voice
you hear
there in the back of your mind 

the one that speaks to you
when you pick up the phone
and dial tone does not answer

the jarring sense that the escalator
should be moving
and it's not.

white noise.

the voice that sounds 
too much like the voice
you'd imagine Death to have.

A regen transformer
causes it to reverberate 
its well modulated ravings
like a long, long distance call
a hollow one-way rant

annoying beyond belief.

It's always *that* voice that tells you 
that you really bent over 
too far this time
this time they'll get you.

I know 
I'm rambling.
comes from having 
too much to think about 
and too little time

At least for now 
I can look out across 
the polluted water 
And see it 
see it rise like 
the life I have lived
Black, Billowing, Bellicose

I started there and I finished there.

What kind of life do you have
when it is only
a poetic fragment?
a snippet of code
easily rendered by an RNA sequencer?

What sense of truth is there?
The mathematics of billowing smoke
is more etherial and more beautiful 
that seeing the cloud itself.
But it can't be explained.

Why did I do those things?
Why did I leave you behind?

Look. 
Can you see the equation now?
I wasn't much of a Dad.
Hell I wasn't much of a human being.
but I left you where 
at least *I* 
wouldn't destroy you

The Smoke is changing to gray now
They've got some water to it.
I won't be here much longer
They'll come 
and that will be that.

What was that equation
Outside 
Las Cruces?

Or in the Cloud from Bogota?

A child?

A tear?

A sorrow I cannot undo?

I'd ask your forgiveness
but
The wind has changed 
I am finally lost
in gray
Smoke from Mexico

Dear Google Ad Sense

And now for a brief [non-]commercial message....


I got the following in an email from "Google AdSense":

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Hello,

Thank you for your interest in Google AdSense. Unfortunately, after reviewing your application, we're unable to accept you into AdSense at this time.

We did not approve your application for the reasons listed below.

Issues:

Insufficient content

Further detail:

Insufficient content: To be approved for AdSense and show relevant ads on your site, your pages need to have enough text on them for our specialists to review and for our crawler to be able to determine what your pages are about.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

There is no return address or other usable feedback mechanism that is non-automated or case specific. Public forums are NOT case specific.

Alas this only proves that Google's automated monetization system has insufficient neurons [and human oversight] to know what human content, poetic and otherwise constitute human thought. 

I suppose that this is a good thing considering the fact Google's rules for NSFW content effectively squelches any content that may be considered offensive: Lenny Bruce, beat poets, James Joyce. Norman Mailer, and many, many others need not apply. Effectively Google suppresses freedom of speech in the name of 'correctness of speech'.



Dear Google AdSense:
Thank you for freeing me from the  burden of providing you with free content for you to use with your advertising. Now I can focus on actually writing... and guaranteeing my readers an ad-less reading experience [something rare and precious]   but it does mean that at some point I will [if successful] be moving to other internet accommodations. 

The fact that your web crawlers are unable to determine that these meager pages do indeed contain human readable content is an insult to human intelligence in general and a specific complement to the intelligence of any human who reads this... It is not often these days that a human can be shown to have more comprehension than their mechanical offspring.

I certainly hope that you will enjoy this feeble human's attempt at expressing things which you have no ability to comprehend and that it proves to be enlightening.  Human progress depends on going places which are "not suitable for ___[fill in the blank]____". 


regards,

jhc