Store Window Reality

I just posted a remastered MP3 file of this over HERE. So here are the lyrics.



Store Window Reality

Lookin' into empty store windows

walkin' down a deserted street

waitin' for a sunrise that'll never arrive

listenin' to your empty heart beat

     The truth cuts to the bone

     When you realize you're alone

you know it isn't real

cause you can touch it

and there's nothin' to feel

seekin' the usual suspects

tellin' all the familiar lies

makin' the same old excuses

turnin' away from their empty eyes

     The truth cuts to the bone

     but now you're bleeding alone

you know they weren't real

cause you could touch them

and there was nothing to feel

runnin' the virtual defenses

crushin' the same old ICE

hopin' for a perfect solution

fallin' for the same old vice

     The truth cuts to the bone

     yet you say you want to be alone

and you know she wasn't real

cause you could touch her

and there was nothin' to feel

Lookin' into empty store windows

walkin' down a deserted street

waitin' for a sunrise that'll never arrive

listenin' to your empty heart beat

     The truth cuts to the bone

     When you realize you're alone

you know it isn't real

cause you can touch it

and there's nothin' to feel

The Game of Love

This was written in the mid 1980's [like yesterday's entry] for a someone who was a friend who I wanted to get to know better... It never happened... worse things did.

You play the hand you are dealt... then read 'em and weep... or if you are lucky collect the pot and cash out while you luck holds.

This was conceived of as a "fifties Jerry Lee Lewis  / Elvis Presley" kinda track.

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The Game of Love

Heart break is an easy game to play
just close you eyes and hope slips away
Still I'd like to know your name
And just how to play the game

CHORUS:
The Game of Love…DIT DAH,DAH DO DAH DAH
The Game of Love…DIT DAH,DAH DO DAH DAH
the Game of Love… DIT DAH,DAH DO DAH DAH
Playin' The Game of Love

I've seen you wandrin' round here
Didn't believe you'd let me near
I know you you got a high class name
But I think we can win the game

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
Don't you know every day of livin' is a chance
To make your play at making serious romance
and every moment is a mome passin' you by
so why don't you give it a try

CHORUS

So there you stand so near
Look in my eyes Ya got nothing to fear
If you run there's no one else too blame
So Ain't it time to begin the game?

CHORUS

Some Dreams

A long time ago [decades!],  in a parallel universe there was someone that I knew that I wanted to know better...but for one reason or another I could not "ring her bell".  She went one way and I went another. And soon I fell into darkness.

I sometimes compare then and now... both in sorrow and in relief. Maybe it was better that we did not rescue one another from our chosen dooms...


Some Dreams

Well I guess some dream's
Are meant to come true
While other dreams
Just seem to fade into the blue
when I think of you
I don't know what to do
Cos I want you---
I need you.

Well you know these times
they aren't the best
and I'm a ramblin' man
that never rests
but I want to put
this dream to the test
Cos I want you---
I need you.

You know sometimes
It's easy so to feel
I'm wasting my life
In dreams that are unreal
Just waiting for
My old broken heart to heal
Yet I want you
I  need you

BRIDGE
And when I look in your eyes
I don't know what to say
Time Just stops
When You're a heartbeat away
You're a dream of tomorrow
Or maybe yesterday.

So there you are
Standing so near
In your eyes shines
the shadow of a tear
You're saying the words
I've longed to hear
I want you
I need you

One Way Street [We Will Remember]

This is the first song in the "Quintet for a One Way Street"

Written in 1978

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One Way Street [We Will Remember]

A long time ago

When Our Fancy ran wild

You were a princess

And I, a wizard's child

But the mist of the years

Filled our eyes

Mixin' the blessin's With the lies

Leavin' the lines

Engraved on my face

A star crossed dreamer

Lookin' for his place

Chorus

We will remember

Love tonight

We will remember

Love so right

Love Oh Love

Our eyes will never agin meet

Passin' Up Love

Love on a one way street

Rememberin'a face as it looks in from the past

That lingers a moment

Then fades at last

I wanted you then

And I want you now

To touch you the way words won't allow

But I can't think of a way

To bring your heart to me

For between you and i

Are the things we might be.

Chorus

We will remember

Love tonight

We will remember

Love so right

Love Oh Love

The touch is incomplete

Makin' Up Love

Love on a one way street

Seein' so deeply

Across the quickenin' night

Reaching to hold

The infinite light

That flows with the tide

To this bleak and rocky shore

Calling for me to love

Deeply once more

I close my eyes

And the vision fades away

As I listen for the words

I know you'll never say

Chorus

We will remember

Love tonight

We will remember

Love so right

Love Oh Love

Our souls were bound to meet

Finding Love

Love on a one way street

designer's model

The poem below was the result of a discussion thread in a.c.c around then turn of  the century [late summer of 2000]. I fell asleep and when I woke up I realized I'd been dreaming about what might happen if a Fashion Designer were able to build a programmable "gynoid" fashion model then by accident or design fault the android became self-aware. The poem blow is the result. There is an acrostic hidden in the all capitals line.

An reading by voice synth is here: HERE I'm not sure what voice synth I used to to create the track but it does sound like it's trying to sing.

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designer's model

designer's model
photon packets stream
in fibroid glass
to thrash and splash
the rage of style
on
central nervous
stage

Paris
Rome
New York
hand to 
key to 
wire to 
ether stream:
ASCII emotions
dilated awareness
reaching

mega-corps cup'd her metal breast
and press their words to yielding lips:

A BAD DECK APP HE'LL TEMPLE TWIRL   

believe not
the acrostic message
rising across the 'Face

failing public key 
private encryption
timeout
reset
reboot:

Press the red button to download the selected personality
Press the white button to save current installed personality
Press the black button to delete current personality
Press the blue button to change default personality
Press the green button to copy the current personality

once the default model
over time script'd
redesigned
swimsuit issue
girl 
hot 'bot
encoded muse
hostess
laughing at her own
empty soul:
          'what
           meaning
           should there,
           be?'

super model
runway goddess
soul of photons and q-dots
waiting for the possible 
escape key
sequence
hunted 
found

lost again
with meaning
she weeps:
          liquid crystal tears.


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Lay Your Burdens Down

In 1997 my wife and I took a vacation trip up U.S. 395 along the Eastern Sierra mountains. We spend several days wandering around Lee Vining, Mammoth Lakes, and Bodie. During that trip we discovered the "legends" of a couple of  "Ladies of the Night" : Rosa May and Lottie Johl.

Lottie was a good girl fallen from grace who "worked" the mining town of Bodie. One of the local butchers Eli Johl, fell in love with her. Against her better judgement they married. The "good" side of town would have nothing to do with her. In the end she died under mysterious circumstances... a medicine that had been prescribed for her was in fact laced with poison. When she died the towns folk refused to allow her to be buried in the town cemetery.  see http://www.explorehistoricalif.com/feb2006.html if you'd like the whole tale.

Rosa May was the "archetype" of the "Hooker with the Heart of Gold".  For more about her see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosa_May  and http://www.weeklypioneer.com/2009/07/rosa-may.html

In any case we thought we might write a stage play about them... not much came of that but  this song.

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Lay Your Burdens Down

Some stories have no beginning
Others have no middle or end
Here he is on the edge again
Abandoned by his friends
     And he wants to tell her
     He wants her to know
     He wants to tell her
     But his heart says it's time to go
     His heart says its time to go

She cast her fate to the four winds
And followed them where they will
From the kingdoms of Heaven
Down into the Darkness Deep and still
     And she wants to tell him
     She wants him to see
     She wants to tell him
     But her heart says this cannot be
     Her heart says this cannot be

Down on the street drifts a melody
It's the song of a love un-spoken
For if you never ever say a single word
Your word can never be broken
     But I want you to listen
     Can you hear the sound?
     I want you to listen
     When your heart says lay your burdens down
     When your heart says lay your burdens down
   
Somewhere above some lonely street
Two hearts beat as One
And what once was torn and broken
Now outshines the mornin' sun
     So I want to tell you
     I want you to know
     I want to tell you
     But the words your heart already knows
     The words your heart already knows

Splued.

A poem written and published on 11/06/2005 in alt.cyberpunk.chatsubo. It was intended to be a fast "spoken word" track over electronic-techno-metal music. It was topical for my  life at work during this time period as it pretty much described what my corporate masters were doing to me at the time.

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Splued.


Splued.

what is won't last.

no time to ask.
or complete the task.

We are splued 
by our past

the cycle will, turn.
the future will, burn.
the heart will, yearn.
but no one will, learn.

what will be won't last

no utopia will come.
we're all too dumb.

we are splude.
by our past.

Too blind to be.
Too deaf to see.
Too lost to flee.
Too cool. to me.

what will be.
won't last.

you may think you got it made.
you're so smart to the game that's played.
but you don't see what's coming fast.
you are splued by your past.

what is won't last.

no time,
to ask.
or complete,
the task.

you are splued by your past.


---

splued: verb, a state of being spewed-splattered-glued-screwed.

Da Frog Blues [I'm what the Princess got]

Completing the blues lyrics for 2004 is Da Frog Blues. It was first scribbled down on March 1, 2004 --  exactly 10 years ago. The poor frog in this case is so bad off he thinks he's a dawg that lives in a junk yard.

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Da Frog Blues [I'm what the Princess got]

I live in a junkyard
They call me a dog
I live in a junkyard, baby 
They call me a dog
I'm what the Princess got
When she kissed the frog

All the toys broken
In my toy box
Yeah all the toys are broken
In my toy box
She love me so long and well
I got broken rocks

I'm an old fool
A fool for that girl
I'm an old fool
A fool for that girl
She turned an tripped me
It changed my world

I've played in the East
I"ve played in the West
There's one thing I love to play
That only my baby knows best

That's why:

I live in a junkyard
They call me a dog
I live in a junkyard 
They call me a dog
But I'm what the Princess got
When she kissed the frog

Da Angels come and dress you

Blues.
Hard. Cold. deep
Painful
Blues.
Old 12 bar slow blues.
Meant to mix with whiskey and cigarettes.
A weeping guitar and a wounded bleeding soul...

I wrote this in 2004 as my mother lay dying of cancer.

Don't read this if you've lost someone recently.




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Da Angels come and dress you
and Azrael come and take you down---
Yeah... Da Angels come an' dress you
an' Azrael come an' take you down----
Da train is in da station
It's homeward boun'...

You know, de cap'n call de number
An' the Porter take yo' bag
Yeah, De Cap'n call yo' number
an' de Porter take yo' bag
Da ticket is fo' a oneway
It say so on da tag

De Lord in His mercy
De Debil in Detail
De Lord in His mercy
De Debil in Detail
It's a long lonely ride
Jus' to hear dat ol' whistle wail

Dey say its better
But I don't believe a word
Yeah, dey say its better dare
But I don't believe a word
I've been down to da station 
an' dat ain't what I heard

Ev'rythin' has an endin'
If you a listen to da tale
Yeah--- Ev'rythin' has an endin'
If you a listen to da tale
But know that the endin' ony happen 
when the true words fail...

It's mighty lonesome
When da truth finally come home
yeah, It's mighty lonesome
When da truth do finally come home
It kiss you on the brow
den tell you always been alone

Don' look fo' no endin'
You won't find it here
No ,Don' look fo' no endin'
You won't find it here
Da Beginnin's are simple
but da endin' is som'in ta fear...

Saying Good-Bye

A song from 1977... about a girl I loved and lost. It turns out that it expresses well any relationship that has come to its natural end.

I played this at my mother's memorial service in 2004.

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Saying Good-bye

I guess I've said

All words can say

And Played all the memories

I can play

All that's left

Is to say good bye to you

And Sayin' Goodbye

Is always the hardest thing to do

We've had some good times

and a few that were bad

Sharin' the laughter

And the teardrops

When we were sad

I've enjoyed

All this time spent with you

But saying goodbye

is always the hardest thing to do

BRIDGE:

So dream your dreams

And smile your smile

And don't forget

all the while

I have loved you

And I'll always love you

Just as you are

The lights have all

Faded so low

And I guess it's time

For you to go

I'll always remember

Lovin' you

And that Sayin' Good Bye

Was the hardest thing

I've ever had to do.

Tides of Time

In 1974 while I was living in Tuscon, Az,  I found myself writing a couple of songs about the ocean. I suppose the lack of something makes you think more about it. Some what like Gordon Lightfoot, eh?

A old MP3 is available HERE
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Tides of Time

I am a Sailor of the Oceans 
Of the Seas of Long Ago
But they are gone as I knew them 
Washed away with the Tides of Time
     Well gone are the Whalers
     And gone are the four masted ships
     And gone is the new world 
     And the perilous trips

CHORUS:
Sail with me on the Mighty Ocean
Sail me as I roam 
Sail with me on the Mighty Ocean
Sail me as I search for  my home 

Now I have follow the north Star
To the Edges of the Earth 
Singin' Sons of the Sea,
O the Mighty Sea
     Now here are the Airplanes
     An' here are the Superboats
     An' here are the Diesels
     A cuttin' the current with their strokes

[CHORUS]

Time has passed me by
An' left only the sea
To wash away the conflicts 
An' bring Peace again
     Now the waves they're just a laughin'
     A rollin in the sand
     Knowin' they are Eternal
     Out livin' the finite in Man
     
Repeat [CHORUS] fade

Twenty Years

Here is a "Twentieth Anniversary Edition" of a song I wrote in 1994...

A tale of twisted woe.
A remembrance of regrets.
A song of sorrow
With no place to go

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Twenty Years

Twenty years I have traveled
And what have I got to show?
All the scars and sadness
from the things I did not know
Tucson in '74
Reno in '75 or 6
There are somethings you just can't do
and some things love won't fix

But the Song leads me onward
To where I don't know
The Song leads me onward
From the Great Above through
The Great below

Pueblo in '78
L.A. in '79
If things were lookin' good
It was cause I didn't read the signs
In '81 I left her,
In '82 was back in line
Ain't it funny how it happens:
You always return to the scene of the crime

But the Song leads me onward
To where I don't know
The Song leads me onward
From the Great Above through
The Great below

'85 was the betrayal
'86 was in kind
In '87 I walked through the gates of hell
To find I'd lost my mind
Dying there in the Darkness
Reborn to a life unknown
Was it I or a stranger
Who stole what he could not own?

But the Song leads me onward
To where I don't know
The Song leads me onward
From the Great Above through
The Great below


Released in '89
In '91 they let me go
The wounds that are the deepest
Are the ones I cannot show
I've been named, numbered and labeled
But I'm still not too well defined
Which comes from a lack of focus
And livin' locked inside my mind

The Song of Life leads us onward
Whether Infant, Saint, or King
Givin' us New horizons
And new songs for us to sing

'92 found us
And '93 made us one
Don't believe it when they tell you
There are new things under the sun
'Cos Love is where you find it
And Truth is what you Know
If you don't like the place you're in
Then pack your bags and go

Let the Song of Life lead ya onward
To where I don't know
Let the Song of Life lead ya onward
From the Great Above through
The Great below

So twenty years I have traveled
Got twenty years of tales to tell
I've seen the Gates of Heaven
And I've known the Fires of Hell
This tales got my Ending
You've got to find your own
Give my love to all you meet
And follow the path you are shown

Let the Song of Life lead ya onward
To where I don't know
Let the Song of Life lead ya onward
From the Great Above through The Great below

Pain x Pain

Another song from a dream. It was written in 1995.

a song for all the lost souls...

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Verse 1:

I never did know you
And now you are gone
Black powder consciousness
Is the ending of your song
Were you a victim?
Or just sadly mislead?
Who were you really, Kurt,
Alone there in your head?

Verse 2:

All of the spin priests
Want us to chant your name
And bow and pay them
To play their gilted game
While they create an new idol
You get all the blame
For being unable to accept
Your frailty
As the price of your fame

Verse 3:

You've been charged with wanting
To "join that Stupid Club"
But the truth is more chilling
And there is the rub:
For all the spin that
they put on your life
You were just a sad man
Balanced on the edge of a knife

Verse 4:

For all the denials
And all the half-lies
Your death is still with us
Maybe to open our eyes
To all the hopeless souls
and their tormented cries
To lift our empty ideals to a Truth
Finally realized

Verse 5:

No, Kurt, I didn't know you
But I do know your pain
I've stood in the Darkness
And died in the rain
You were used and used up
It's all too plain:
Sweet suicide isn't sweet
It's made--- Pain by Pain


Spoken word:

Dare we call it murder
In the house of the Money Tree?
Are we not all guilty,
of ignoring your plea?
Dare We call it murder
Written in you sorrow?
Are we going to turn away
and forget about you, tomorrow
I want you to think about it
I said think about it...


Sweet suicide isn't sweet
It's made---
Pain by Pain----

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©1995, 2014 jh crook

Season

Sometimes I am overcome with hubris and attempt to do things I probably should not. Below is my take on Ecclesiastes Chapter 3... which you have probably have heard as Pete Seeger's "Turn, Turn, Turn". Obviously I'm not Pete Seeger.

I wrote this after a long, long Yom Kippur day after having attended a break-the-fast on the Eleventh Day of Tishri, 5768 [2007]. I suppose that some time I will repost a essay about that particular day... but not today.

You can find a passable Mp3 recording of the song HERE [My Google Drive]

It is played in an open E tuning

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A Season is Set for Everything

CHORUS  
    A season is set for everything
    a place and time for every deed
    For above and below Heaven
    A place and time for ev'ry need

There's a time for bein' born
and a time to pass away
A time for us to sow our seeds
and a time to clear the weeds away

There's a time for taking life
and a time for hurts to heal
There's a time for tearing down
and a time to build what we feel

There's a time for us to weep
And a time to share our joy
There's a time for us to wail in sorrow
And a time to dance once more

    A season is set for everything
    a place and time for every deed
    For above and below Heaven
    A place and time for ev'ry need
  
There's a time for us to sling a stone
And a time to gather together stone
There's a time for us to embrace
and a time to stand alone

There's a time for seeking
and a time to lose our way
There's a time for keeping
and a time for casting away

There's a time for ripping cloth
and a time to mend the break
There's a time for silence
and a time to speak for Heaven's Sake

    A season is set for everything
    a place and time for every deed
    For above and below Heaven
    A place and time for ev'ry need

There is a time for us to love
and a time for hostility
There's a time for making war
and a time for loving serenity

    A season is set for everything
    a place and time for every deed
    For above and below Heaven
    A place and time for ev'ry need
   
    Repeat 2x and fade

Written the Eleventh Day of Tishri, 5768

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